February 15

How To Deal With An Unsupportive Spouse For Network Marketers

Kat Krasilnikov

Imagine that you working day in and day out to build your business to 6 figures and your team is thriving. 

You are finally getting to where you want to be, and you come home and your spouse says to you " I need a wife, not an ATM machine." What would you do?

Well, this actually happened to me. And I want to walk you through what I did and how we overcame it and I turned my spouse into my biggest cheerleader.



This is a very touchy subject, but it is important to know why your spouse is unsupportive and how to resolve it.

If we don't address the big elephant in the room, not only will there be some friction in the family dynamic, but it can also sabotage your relationship or your business. 

Because if your spouse is unsupportive, you are not going to be able to spend as much time as you want building your business, and you can lose your confidence and potentially quit.  

There was a time that my spouse was not supportive, and I'm very grateful that he expressed himself because not only did I start evaluating how I'm building my business and how I'm spending my time building my business, but also whether or not I need to change something

Today, my husband is my biggest cheerleader. My biggest supporter. He believed in me when I did not believe in myself and only because of his support I am where I am today

UNDERSTAND WHERE THEY ARE COMING FROM

The first thing you need to do, is to understand where they are coming from. 

Most likely they are coming from the place of love. They don't want to see you get hurt. 

They don't want you to fail and be disappointed with yourself. 

Understanding that even though they are not supportive and it seems like they are on the other side, it is actually coming from a place of love and support

FIND THE REASON WHY

The second thing is to understand why they are not supportive

Maybe they are feeling neglected. All of a sudden you are spending all your time on your business, which takes away from time with your spouse and family. 

Maybe they are irritated that you are spending time doing something that is not important, because the family and husband are more important.

They don't know if you are committed. You have done it before and quit after a little while. They need to know that this is different from those times. That it isn't a waste of time

Another reason is that you didn't include them. You started up your business, and didn't think it was important to share. So now they are feeling left out and behind.

Maybe they are skeptical of this business. They don't believe in the industry, so they are skeptical because they don't want to see you waste your time. 

Now, these are some examples of why your spouse might be unsupportive, but there are many other reasons as well. 

HAVE THE CONVERSATION

You understand where they are coming from, a place of love, and the reason why they are unsupportive, now its time to have the conversation. There are five main points you want to cover when having the conversation.

  1. You want to tell them that you actually appreciate that they are concerned, and you understand where they are coming from.
  2. Explain to them why what you are doing right now is important to you. Be honest, with your spouse, and yourself.
  3. Talk about how pursuing your business is going to change things. Tell them when and how much time you will spend working on your business, set some boundaries. Also make sure to set aside time for your family and spouse, and be fully committed to this.
  4. Give them some clarity. Help them know the expectations on how it will look over the next month, or even the next year. It might change, but having some kind of expectation will help with the transition.
  5. Involve them. Ask them for help. They might be unsupportive because you excluded them. They love to be in the back listening and supporting you.

LET THEM BE YOUR CHEERLEADER

Don't let the elephant in the room grow so big it sabotages your relationship

Understanding where they are coming from, why they feel this way, and having a conversation can help you resolve your situation with an unsupportive spouse. 

If you include them, they will be your biggest cheerleader and supporter. 

If you want to know more about building your business online, check out our free formula below.

Video Transcript

Disclaimer: Transcripts were generated automatically and may contain inaccuracies and errors.


Hello, welcome to today’s episode where I will be sharing incredible tips for network marketers, especially for those who are dealing, or if you know someone who is dealing with unsupportive spouse, it’s a very touchy subject that it’s very important to with it because it can sabotage your business. My name is cat OV. I am one of the founders of beach bus influencers, its online coaching community for marketers and online entrepreneurs, where we teaching you how to use social media by teaching you concepts of influence marketing. So you can stop chasing friends and family. You can stop. Spaming your news feed with sales C post, and you’re gonna learn how to attract those perfect prospects to you. And if you need extra help on strategies and different techniques that we use and teach our students how to use influence marketing, there will be linked above or below this video or in the end of this episode, uh, where you can grab a free resource and start learning how to attract those perfect people to you.

So let’s get to unsupportive spouse and I’m gonna share with you that my husband, although right now he’s my biggest cheerleader. My biggest supporter. He believed in me when I did not believe in myself and only because of his support, I am where I’m at right now. It was not always the case. There was time in our relationship and my business where he actually sat to me once. Uh, I actually need a life, not an ATM machine, so I could’ve be offend offended, right? And fire back with how dare you. I’m trying to help us financially and stuff like that. But I actually took this phrase like a turning point for my business. And I’m very grateful that he expressed himself this way because not only I start evaluating how I’m building my business, how I’m spending my time building my business and whether or not I need to change something.

And because of that, I found attraction, marketing, an influence marketing, and start learning how to use it. And now that’s the only way I use how to grow my business. That allows me to have the time freedom to have time to spend with my family and actually enjoy what I’m doing mine. Like I said, it was not always the case. And I wanna share with you three, the very important tips that will help you to understand why your spouse is unsupportive, uh, and also communicate. So not only you can continue growing your business and have that support that you want because if we don’t address the big elephant in your room, right, let’s be straightforward. Uh, not only there can be some friction in the family dynamic, it also can’t sabotage your relationship. And we of course don’t wanna do that. And also it can sabotage your business because if your spouse is not supportive, you know, maybe you are not gonna be able to spend as much time as you want building your business.

Maybe you’re not gonna be as confident as you could be. And also you could potentially quit. So let’s get rid of that elephant. Let’s just dive in and I’m gonna share with you what you can do to solve this situation. So there are three very important thing that I’m gonna be talking about. Thing. Number one, you need to understand, uh, where they’re coming from. Most likely they’re coming from the place of love. They don’t want you to get hurt. They don’t want you to fail and be disappointed at yourself. They also maybe not want you to get distracted because they may be seeing you doing different things than you used to be doing before. And to them, it’s kind of a distraction. So you have to understand that even though they’re not supportive and it seems like they’re on the other side, they actually come from the place of love and support, right?

So this is the first thing. And it’s very important. Second thing, you need to understand the reason why they’re not supportive and I’m gonna give you some examples and you probably will be able to apply maybe all of them, maybe just one of them, but it will help you to understand where they coming from even more. So there is a number one there why they’re not supportive could be is that they feel neglected. Suddenly you start taking time away from your spouse or your family in general in doing something else. Right? So they feel a little bit of neglected and it might irritate them. Like, why are you doing something that not even important, right? Family and the husband should be important. And you might be spending a little more time that they can tolerate right now. And this point. So if it makes sense so far, let me know. So they feel neglected. Yeah, it happens all the time. So reason number two is, ooh, I skipped some of my notes, but anyways, the reason number two, they think, and that you are not serious. So maybe you have done it in the past and you did it for a little bit and then you quit and maybe you did it again and you quit. And they think this is one of those times where you gonna do it for a month, a year and then you’re gonna quit. So they don’t know that you are committed. So they need to know how this time is different than it was last time when you started it and you quit. So they might see it as a waste of time that they don’t want you to waste. Let’s put it that way. So I hope that makes sense as well. And let me know if it does so reason number three, you did not include him in the whole situation.

And I’m very guilty of doing that. I didn’t tell my husband that I joined the business opportunity because it was kind of like not big deal. I didn’t take my business seriously in the beginning. I didn’t even think it was a business. I didn’t even think it was important enough to share with my spouse because it was like a flank. I didn’t know I was committed and serious. I didn’t know it was a long term relationship. I thought it would be just a little fun thing to do sometimes with my friends. And I didn’t even tell him that I was doing some kind of business. And one day he came from work and he saw like 40 people in our house that we were about to finish a home party that I thought we we’d finish by the time he gets home, but it was still going on.

And he was just shocked when he entered the house. And there were a bunch of cars in the parking lot and all these people in our house that he has no idea who they are. So he was really irritated because I did not include him. I didn’t even tell him that I was doing a, a business so that why they might be not supportive. You did not include them. Reason. Number four, they might be very skeptical in general. And they don’t believe in this industry in general. And it’s totally normal. And it could have come from their past experie. Maybe they have watched their parents to do this kind of work and they failed maybe their coworker, their sisters, siblings. And now they’re watching you doing the same thing and they just don’t have the belief in the industry. And they’re skeptical because they are supportive of you.

They don’t want you to get hurt and they don’t want you to waste your time. So this is, are the reasons why your spouse is not supportive. And if you going through the same situation or know someone who’s going through the same situation and you think there could be more reasons, please share them. Right? We would like, like to definitely there could be more reasons, but those just the four that came to my mind when I was thinking about it. And if you have more reasons, share them with us and we might discuss them in our future episodes. So now the third thing, it’s very important thing, what you need to do to resolve it. So now you understand that they’re coming from the place of love. Now, you know, the reason or multiple reasons why they’re not supportive, third thing, it’s time to have that conversation.

And in that conversation, you have to discuss five things. So I feel like we’re talking about three to one. I give you three things of four reasons. And now five topics that you need to discuss in your conversation with your spouse. That has to be uninterrupted. That has to be very where you express all these things that you need to talk about. So first thing you need to talk about in your conversation is that you really appreciate that they are concerned and you understand where they coming from. Please don’t be, if don’t be pushy, don’t be, you don’t understand me. I’m trying to help us out. Tell them that you appreciate where they coming from and you totally understand it. And it will change the ton of conversation, 180 degrees, and you will get the, that you wanna get out of it. So number one, tell them that you actually appreciate it.

Number two, you need to explain to them why, what you’re doing right now is important to you and be completely honest, not just with your spouse, but with yourself. Why, why are you doing this? And to me, I actually had to get clear for myself, why I was doing it. And I told my husband straightforward. I said, listen, I don’t really understand why I’m doing this, but there’s some kind of force pushing me to do it. Sometimes my mind telling me to up that I’m gonna fail. It’s a waste of time, but something’s in my heart. Keep pushing me. And I feel like if I quit, a piece of my soul is going to die and I’m gonna be very, very sad and I cannot let it happen. This is how I felt. And I told my spouse exactly how it was. Right? So tell them, why is this important to you?

Third thing you need to talk about in your conversation is how things are going to change. So you have to explain to them that you need some time, whether it’s one hour, a day or one hour a week, where you gonna work on your business and you need to establish some boundaries. And once you tell them that there will be some time where you don’t wanna be interrupted, where you need to be left alone when you need his help to take care of the kids or the house, because this is the time you’re gonna work on your business. But at the same time, give him another block of time that you completely devote to your family and your spouse, and make sure you follow through this commitment. Because if they see you keeping the promise that you made to the only being unplugged and be absolutely present with your family, whether it’s one hour a week, or maybe it’s only one hour a month, but you need to be fully committed and deliver on that promise.

So when they gonna see you working on your business, they will respect that time as well. Very important. So set up some bad boundaries and discuss the time that it’s gonna take you to work on your business. So they are aware. So from here comes the fourth part of the conversation that you need to give them some certainty. That right now you’re just in the beginning, maybe of your business and you are gonna spend more time working on it. And there will be another time or season what we call it, where you can take breaks, uh, push some breaks and not be so involved. So it’s not gonna last forever that you right now on your computer a whole more hour, a day or on your phone, right? So give them some expectation. Uh, some certainty that right now, that’s how it’s gonna look like the next month.

It’s gonna look differently. Or maybe it’s gonna look like this for the whole year, whatever it is, you have to be honest and tell them so they know what to expect. And the last thing, number five is ask them to help you. They actually want, want to be involved and they might be not supportive because you totally excluded them. Like I did. I didn’t even tell them I was in business until, uh, my husband, so 40 strangers in our house. So ask them for help. So during that time, when you have some meeting or you talking to your prospect, maybe they can help you to fold the laundry, or maybe they can help you to keep attention of the kids. So they not bugging you. Or maybe you can ask them to make some graphics, whatever it is, or even be with you in the video.

They love to be involved. Even sometimes they don’t like to be upfront on the front lines, but they would love to be in the back and support you. So I hope this tips will help you to resolve your situation with unsup with unsupportive spouse, and they will become your biggest cheerleader and supporter and believer. Um, let us know how you dealt with similar our situation, or maybe, you know, someone who need to hear this video, um, see this video or hear this message. So share it with them. And if you are a marketer in online space, who needs strategies on how to build your business using attraction and influence marketing, uh, go to beach, bus influencers.com/secrets and grab our free source. So I hope you got value today. One more time. My name is Kad and I will see you next time.


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Kat Krasilnikov

About the author

Kat is a mother of 3, a former postal clerk, originally from Russia. She loves inspiring women by sharing her journey and giving them the tools and strategies they need to succeed without sacrificing their families in the process.

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